Gender Prose

Medusa by Kareem Montes

Do you ever use kink as a means of performing femininity? As a gender-fluid human exploring femininity in the context of kink, it has been powerful and grounding. The male gaze penetrates my every pore. As I walk down the street, I wish their unwanted stares were perceived as assault and not flattery, I wish men understood their incredibly blatant, dead-eyed adventures of my body makes Me want to swiftly blind them. Yet, I feel so celebrated amongst My peers, my chosen family, and my subby folks. My family acknowledges, uplifts, and worships the power allowing us to explore the heights of sexual liberation. Within these spaces we allow femininity to reign dominant, we know that exploration of all identities is the highest form of self love. I have always loved  these titles of Queer, Goddess, Slut, Lesbian. I have always loved seeing how the language evolves as folks figure out their wants, needs and identities.

I often contemplate the power that femininity allots me. I have been seeing a lot of posts about “toxic femininity” as of late and I think to myself, "Am I being gaslit?" Is this fragile masculinity once again attempting to diminish the traction gained by feminism? By uplifting femininity? This concept of “toxic femininity” being the epitome of what is passive, patient, sensual to fault. We're just now making it to a time in which femininity is seen as courageous, empowering, and honest. To step out into the street, knowing your existence is going to be perceived as a personal performance for men, is exhausting. If I have to go to events that aren't outwardly queer it is labor. It is emotional labor to exist in a world where your worth is measured by being small, attractive and fuckable. I'm an alluring, strong, direct, scary bitch. That doesn't read well in most situations. As a Domme it is celebrated.

Find where you are celebrated and stick with it. Learn everything about it. Wield your truth like a sword and shield because this existence, with all its labels, is the only thing we have. And some uncomfortable man on the street (the Mike Pence-y power bottoms) that couldn't get through a spanking isn't here to affect our worth. Femininity is power, y’all.